How do you tell someone they have CANCER?

My dad asked me that question after the surgeon gave us the report on my mom's surgery that began as an appendectomy.

My mom had been complaining for several months of having symptoms that sounded a lot like gall bladder attacks that cycled on Monday evenings. When Kirsten and I went home for a visit during Spring break, my mom was just getting ready to start a "cleanse" that was supposed to clear any gallstones and provide relief from the attacks. I'm sure I have it wrong but it included fasting, drinking a ridiculous amount of apple juice, then drinking olive oil and lemon juice. It was only a couple of weeks later when John called me at work to report that my mom had called to say that her symptoms were more appendicitis-type and she was headed to our ER. After I finished my shift I went to see what was up and to tease my mom that her Monday night (family home evening) activities really needed some work. John and I were there with my parents when the surgeon came in and did his assessment.

The surgeon had been suspicious enough to have "bowel resection" added to the consent my mom signed prior to the surgery. When the surgery took longer than the 45 minutes typical for a laparascopic appendectomy procedure both my dad and I started getting pretty anxious. Sure enough, the surgeon reported that he had removed a large tumor and a pretty good section of her colon. (Comedy relief: Ally later said mom went in for a punctuation change. "She went from a colon to a semi-colon.") After he left, my dad posed the question.

Cancer is a vile, relentless, devastating disease. I don't know how to tell someone I love that they have cancer... I do know how to tell them that I love them. I love you Mom!